“The Date Rape Triangle” – By Debbie Love
The crime of sexual assault involves these 3 factors:
- Criminal Intent, the intention of someone to assault you
- Alcohol/Drug Consumption, drinking and/or taking drugs to excess
- Isolation, the ability of someone to isolate you and get you alone
The important thing that women must know and remember here is that you control 2 out of the 3 factors. You control the amount of alcohol or drugs you consume and whether or not you allow yourself to become isolated and alone with someone. The one thing you cannot control is the criminal intent of the person you’re with.
What you can do?Plan ahead by asking yourself these questions and run through the scenarios: If he did this, what would I do? If I was drunk, could I fight back? Could I get home if things go bad? Who would I call in an emergency? If I lost my phone, what would I do?
The Effects and Dangers of Alcohol: First, your senses are dulled. When you’re out with a guy, you have to depend on your feelings. When you get a nagging feeling or your instincts tell you ‘watch out’, ‘there’s something not right here’ or ‘I think I’ve made a mistake!’ alcohol diminishes those senses so you may brush off those feelings thinking your feelings are nonsense or, he’s from a good family, an upper classman, an honor student and I should be honored to be his choice and then go along with whatever plans he may have.
Confusion and Disorientation: Let’s say, you’re taken to a party and don’t know anyone and don’t know your date well either, that’s confusing enough. Then throw alcohol into the mix and it could be disastrous. Alcohol slows down your reaction time and if an assault occurs when you’re drunk or high and in a strange place, it’s hard to process what’s happening to you. You feel trapped and may not know how to get out of there or get home. During an assault, you have two enemies, the attacker and the alcohol you’ve consumed.
Escape: Your primary objective is to escape and if the opportunity presents itself, you’ve got to take it! While waiting for the opportunity, get prepared as best you can. If you’re in high heels, get them off; you can’t run in them. A tight skirt, get it above your knees. Run toward light and people if possible. If you find yourself in an isolated parking lot, crawl under a parked car, he can’t reach you.
Discounting the Word ‘NO!’: The moment someone ignores you when you say ‘NO’ that is your red flag to go and leave him behind. It means he doesn’t respect you and your words have absolutely no meaning as far as he is concerned.
Debbie Love, Founder Heads Up Self-Defense for Women HeadsUpSelfDefense.com
FB: @HEADSUPSelfDefense