“Ask Dorothy” – How Can I Forgive A Man I Was Married To, Who Lied and Cheated?

“Ask Dorothy” – How Can I Forgive A Man I Was Married To, Who Lied and Cheated?

Q:  Mary from Orlando Florida asks:  Dorothy, I was married to a man who was absolutely terrible to me.  He lied and cheated on me.  Since my divorce, I have been miserable and everyone tells me that I need to forgive him.  How will forgiving him help me feel better?  I have tried but he is still a liar and a cheater.  I can never trust him again?

A:  We have been taught to forgive everyone and have been told that forgiveness will set us free.   I believe that forgiveness is essential to our personal happiness.  However, it does not mean that we are to forget what was done to us and stick with the person who hurt us.

What has worked for me is to forgive myself for choosing to believe the untruths and actions of those who have hurt me.  Forgiveness is a bold choice for a peaceful heart and since I learned to forgive myself for inviting people into my life who have hurt me, I am one of the happiest people I know.

There is a wonderful Hawaiian prayer of forgiveness which I have successfully used.  It is called Ho Opono Opono and it goes like this:  I am so sorry.  Please forgive me.  I love you.  I thank you.  When I first discovered this prayer, I used it to forgive others and then one day I used it to forgive myself because I had discovered that I am 100% responsible for my life and its lessons.  This is how I used it to transform my life.  Dear Dorothy, I am so sorry for every believing that I was anything less than wonderful and didn’t deserve successful relationships.  Please forgive me for all of my less than elegant choices.  I love you with all of my heart and I thank you for surviving the stories.

Let’s give this a try and experience the magic that comes from loving and forgiving ourselves.

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