Ask Dorothy – “Am I a Bad Friend If I Am Focusing On My Future, And Not My Friends?” As Answered By Dorothy Lee Donahue on The LIFE CHANGES Show, #494 S10:E38 (2018)
Q: Dear Dorothy, My name is Jonathan and l live in San Jose. After being unemployed for too many years, I now have a great job and I love it. I work about 80 plus hours a week because I so enjoy what I am doing. Now that I don’t have as much free time as in the past, some of my friends are telling me I am not a good friend anymore because I don’t call them back immediately. My new job requires me to travel and it has become my priority because I believe in what I am doing. I love my friends and just don’t understand how they can be thinking of no longer being my friend, because I now have a life that fulfills me. And it is not like I am ignoring them, it is simply that I am excited about doing the very best I can in my new position. I am simply focusing on my future and doing the best I can to get it all done while I have this amazing opportunity. If any of my friends have an urgent need to communicate with me, I make time for them. However, if it is just to chat, I can’t always do this right away. So, my question is: Am I a bad friend like they are saying I am?
A: Dear Jonathan, thanks for this great question. I believe that friendships that are based on love, respect, empathy, compassion, acceptance, honesty and loyalty will last forever. I intuit that in the past, you had way too much time on your hands and so you were constantly available any time your friends had the time to chat.
From the way you describe your new job, it appears that you are on the path to fulfilling your life’s purpose, so, you have to make YOU, your priority. I believe that a true friend would be happy for you and thrilled that you are enjoying what you are doing. You might want to ask your friends why they appear to be angry with you when you are so happy with your new job.
Jonathan, I feel like you are finally being a great friend to yourself and trust that you will continue to keep your priorities straight and not be distracted by people who define friendship as you being constantly available to them.
Once I began totally focusing on my life’s mission and purpose, I discovered that it was time for me to clear out some of the negative people in my life because they felt I was bad and it didn’t serve them or me to continue with their lack of respect for me and my lack of respect for myself by feeling bad about what they said to me. I thanked the Universe for showing me my true friends and for assisting me in finding new ones who are on the same page with me. Maybe it is time for you to do the same.
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